What NOT to Put in Your Vagina.

To put it bluntly, I’ve seen some pretty crazy shit. But the times I have been most stunned, is when patients tell me the assortment of things that they put in their vagina in the name of health. So below is a list of things that I recommend you never put in your vagina, because other people already have, and it wasn’t great. 

• Food Products

  • If you want to end up with a visit to your healthcare provider, by all means, go ahead. But putting food products in your vagina to “spice up” the bedroom will always end in a mess, genital irritation and possible vaginal infections. That includes any lubricant that is food flavored, or warming, cooling, or tingling. 

• “Medicated” Tampons

  • Your menstrual products should be 100% organic cotton, unscented, and bleach/chlorine free. Please don’t add anything else to this formulation. If you feel like your pH balance is off, or that you need to replenish the good bacteria in your vagina, you can talk to your healthcare provider to see if you should add in probiotics, dietary changes, or supplements like boric acid. But please do not use yogurt on your tampon. Somewhere in the vast internet this was going around as a “cure for yeast infections,” and it is not. Your kids Danimals is not going to make your vagina healthy, and neither is any other kind of yogurt.  

• Essential Oils

  • Lovely smell in a diffuser, but not for your vagina. I have patients tell me that they have safely and effectively used Tea Tree Oil topically. . . but I have also seen some horror stories. I have had multiple patients apply undiluted Tea Tree Oil to the labia, and are surprised a day or two later that the skin is peeling and raw (yikes!). If you want to use oils topically, they might need to be diluted (A LOT), and they should NOT be used inside your vagina. Bottom line: extreme caution when using oils on the outside, no oils on the inside. 

• Bleach

  • Yes. You read that right. I had the sweetest, kindest patient present with vaginal irritation and frequent yeast infections. She reported that she was told to buy a douching product and add a capful of bleach. My jaw HIT THE FLOOR. The patient, like many people, followed her doctor’s instructions because she just wanted help and trusted her physician. After asking a few different Nurse Practitioners I worked with, it was confirmed. This used to be a pretty common practice years ago, especially in the South. The patient didn’t suffer any long term consequences of the treatment and all symptoms resolved over time. 

We really mean it when we say:  Your vagina takes care of itself!  Your vagina is a self cleaning oven!  Leave her alone! 

When in doubt, come back to this list, or just don’t. Baby, just don’t.