Pregnancy: What Would I Do Differently?

I’ve been a women's health nurse practitioner for the last 7 years, so I should know everything there is to know about getting pregnant, pregnancy, and postpartum right? Unfortunately, no. There were so many things that were a surprise to me during my pregnancy and postpartum and I'd like to talk about some of them here. So if you're a mom, or a mom to be, and you feel like you should know everything by now, know that I'm in the same boat with you. So let's talk about it. 

I did my best to prepare for pregnancy, but there were some things I wish I could have done better. I removed my IUD six months before I intended to start trying. Since my IUD allowed me to ovulate regularly, and I had a period each month, I tracked my cycles pretty easily. And when it was removed I used ovulation predictor kits for a few months to confirm when I was actually ovulating. This definitely helped ease my mind and I would encourage it for others if you have regular cycles. I understand this isn't an option for everyone, but it was incredibly helpful in my situation. I recommend you buy ovulation predictor kits in larger quantities for ease of use and to save money. The generic 25 or 50 pack on Amazon is just as reliable as the fancy 2 pack at your local Target, Walmart, etc. Stopping my birth control before I wanted to try, taking my prenatal vitamins, and prepping my body as much as I could gave me confidence and peace of mind going into pregnancy. I hope it can do the same for you.

I had maintained a relative level of health and fitness prior to pregnancy. But I wish I could have made time to see a pelvic floor physical therapist during pregnancy. Most people assume you'll only need this type of therapy when you're older or after a baby. But they can absolutely be utilized during pregnancy, too.

I also wish I would have made more time for more intense exercise. I am happy with the amount of moderate exercise (lots of walking) that I was able to complete, but more weight training would have been great. Life can get busy, especially if you have other little ones at home, and it can be hard to make time for yourself. If you're feeling like you wish you had more time to take care of yourself in pregnancy, I totally get the feeling. I wish I would have asked for more help or asked for specific amounts of time per week to be able to exercise like, “here, you take the kid, I'm going on a walk”. Or “I'm going to my fitness class on these specific days”. Sometimes your family or support people just need you to lay it out in black & white for you to get exactly what you need. I was surprised how my days got gobbled up so fast that there ended up being little time for me at the end of them.

My first trimester is something I definitely can't complain too much about. I was lucky to not be incredibly nauseous, have serious vomiting, or significant pain, or episodes of bleeding.  But I did lose all taste for coffee from weeks 6 through 10. Which was a huge life change since coffee brings me to my baseline human level of functionality. If you're thinking, wait, are you supposed to be having coffee anyway?  Just know that ACOG recommends 200 milligrams of caffeine or less in pregnancy, which is equivalent to 12 ounces of coffee. Thank goodness.

I feel like my second trimester went so fast because I was busy preparing for a new baby and working. I had gotten my energy and my taste for coffee back, thank goodness. I didn't have any severe food aversions or sickness. But I did not have a real taste for meat of any kind, I tried to find ways to increase my protein intake which I found through dairy products like Greek yogurt. I thought I would eventually get the taste back somewhere in pregnancy, but it never happened. I took prenatal vitamins and tried my best, but I became anemic. I started taking iron and actually needed iron infusions. So you can try your best. And sometimes you do just need a little extra help from modern medicine. 

Entering into my third trimester, I took the traditional breastfeeding class, birth preparation class, and tried to prepare for labor and delivery and a new baby. I wish I would have spent more time researching breastfeeding. I still don't know if any amount of knowledge would have prepared me enough though. But I cannot stress to you enough how difficult, stressful, and sometimes amazing, breastfeeding can be. So I highly recommend you take a breastfeeding course if it's available to you. Or choose one online, and talk to every single one of your family members and friends about their experience. I definitely feel like hearing every experience of my friends was incredibly helpful since they all had different journeys, and they all struggled in one way or another.

I also wish I would have done more research on pain management for labor and delivery. I was interested in minimal intervention such as nitrous or no pain medication. But I honestly didn’t do enough preparation to be ready for that option. I was lucky in the fact I went into labor spontaneously and I was able to labor at home for about 6 hours, and then for a few more hours at the hospital without any medication. Eventually, I realized the pain was becoming so intense that it was difficult to focus on the experience. I eventually opted for an epidural and could not have been happier. My epidural experience was amazing. I had a great team and it worked well. Which I know is not everyone's experience. But for me, it made me comfortable enough that I could rest and actually, in some way, enjoy my birth experience. So, I would recommend if you would like minimal intervention, or no pain medication at all, that you do as much research as you can. Start in the first trimester and do all the preparation possible, including training your body and your mind. And consider working with a doula, or support person to support your goal.

As I write this, I'm currently 7 weeks post partum. Those first weeks are rough, so they’ll require their own blog post at a later date. I was so incredibly fortunate to have friends and neighbors who brought me food, coffee, played with my other child, and just offered a listening ear. There was a part of me during my pregnancy that felt like I could definitely do most of this postpartum stuff on my own, and I was so so wrong. So if you feel like you have to, or can do it alone, I'm not saying that you can't. There are many women who must and women who choose to. But I highly recommend if anyone, and I mean almost anyone, offers you help, take it. If it's food in your freezer, a cup of coffee, or someone holding the door for you, just take the help. You're exhausted. You're trying your best, and it can still feel like you're failing. You need to shower. You need the food you need. Your water bottle needs filled up. And there are some things you just need 2 hands to do. And it's okay to hand your baby to someone you trust and just do one single solitary thing that is just for you. You deserve it.

I'm not sure if this will be helpful to anyone, or if it's simply the ramblings of a sleep-deprived woman who's 7 weeks postpartum.  But if it was of no help, I hope at least it might make someone feel like they're not alone in all of this. You’re not alone. Me, and a lot of other people, are right here with you.