What I Wish I Knew Before Becoming A Nurse
Wanting To Help People Is Not Enough
It’s almost comical looking back now. On our first day of nursing school we had to introduce ourselves in traditional ice breaker fashion, and one of the questions was, “What made you choose nursing?” A few people had beautiful stories about being a patient themselves, a positive interaction during a family member’s time in the hospital, etc. But the majority of us had the same response: “I just want to help people.” At face value it’s pretty altruistic, right? That’s the kind of nurse you want at your bedside too. The kind of nurse who shows up every day just ready to help people, make the world a better place, all with a smile on their face and somehow endless energy to do it for twelve hours in a row without food, water, or bathroom breaks.
And as wee little baby nursing students we really meant it. We hadn’t been spit on, cussed out, or burned out yet. We looked on aghast when hearing grizzled veteran nurses say that their favorite patients were intubated. We swore we would never get bitter or mean like them, and I’m sure some kept that promise to themselves. But for the rest of us, we were human. And I wish someone would have told me this: Some days wanting to help people is not enough. There will be days when you will be assigned too many patients, who are too sick, with mean/demanding families who think your mission in life is to get them a Diet Coke. You will be short staffed, exhausted, and eventually burn out. And on those days where all of these things happen at once, helping your patients will not feel like enough. You will leave feeling drained, some of your patients will have gotten worse instead of better, and you may even feel like you failed that day. Helping people is a happy pit stop that you’ll end up at at the end of some shifts, but don’t make it the destination your happiness depends on because you will absolutely be disappointed.
Changing Your Mind Is Okay
Plenty of us came into nursing school with a dream of the type of nurse we would become, the floor we would work on, and the life we would lead. Going into clinical rotations I “knew” I wanted some high-speed stuff like OR, ER, ICU, blah blah blah. And it took getting assigned to a Mother/Baby Postpartum Unit to change my mind. I was so disappointed when I saw that I would spend the summer between my junior and senior year on that unit . . . and it ended up changing the course of my career. I loved it so much that from that point on I knew I wanted to work in women’s health, and I could care less about being “high-speed.” Nursing is such a varied profession that there are likely opportunities you never knew existed until you get that life experience. I wish someone would have told me: changing your mind is okay, and it might actually be for the best.
Taking A Break Is Okay
Two of my four grad school professors took a break from nursing. They moved to the education or consulting side for awhile before eventually going back to a hospital or clinic setting. They described scenarios where they worked to their physical and emotional brink, even sliding down the wall in their office and bursting into tears after seeing patients who had too much trauma for one person to bear alone. In grad school I couldn’t really understand, but seven years out now I totally get it. I wish someone told me: This job will show you the best and worst of people, will break you down, and make you question your life decisions. It’s okay to be excited when things are new, but it’s okay if in a few years the shine wears off and you’re left wondering if you’re cut out for this. You might need a break, or a change, or therapy. But Nursing is like home, it’s always going to be there, and you can always go back.
Find Your People And Find Your Stuff
I tell people all the time, “the only things that got me through nursing school were coffee, good friends, and dry shampoo.” I say it with a smile and a laugh because it’s wild to look back on, but it’s no joke. Some of the people who are still my best friends today are the best study partners I had in school. My addiction to caffeine is still rampant and unwavering. And dry shampoo. . . still has a staple location in my bathroom. If you’re starting nursing school, or any other difficult endeavor, find your people and your stuff that will get you through. The newest jogger pant, tumbler, or claw clip is probably not what will get you through. But they can be fun little additions along the way. 😊
Healing Others Will Not Heal Yourself
This goes out to anyone in any type of caring profession. Healing others will not heal yourself. So many of us on that first day of nursing school said we just wanted to help people. But there might as well have been a neon sign over our heads that said, “Unresolved Trauma Reporting For Duty.” If you think this doesn’t apply to you in any way, I hope you’re right. But consider it for a moment, how does it feel to know that:
Holding the hand, hugging, and comforting your pediatric patient will never change the fact that no one comforted you when you needed it as a child.
Going the extra mile and bending over backward for the patient that reminds you of your dad will never make your dad say, “I love you.”
No matter how many Daisy Awards you get, it will not make you feel worthy of anything if your entire life you have been told you are worthless.
And if you see yourself in a patient you cannot help or cannot save, it might rock you to your core, take everything you have, and you might not be able to leave it at work.
I wish someone would have told me that healing others will not heal you. So you need to find a way to take care of yourself outside of this passion we call nursing. You need a freaking hobby, a life, vacation time, and a budget. You can love this work and it can still eat you alive if you let it.
I am so glad that I chose to become a nurse and then a nurse practitioner. I would not take it back and I would decline the chance to do it over and choose something else. But in the midst of the excitement, we can forget to be honest and open about the reality of what we do every day, and the struggles that come with it. These are just thoughts of mine and do not apply to everyone, but I hoped they helped a few of you out there.
